Overly Irritated

Not everyone is meant to be in your future. Some people are just passing through to teach you lessons in life.
[❤️]

Tonight , I'm just feeling overly irritated and mad at myself. I'm just tired of giving people chances to hurt me emotionally. When I do give people chances they make me regret opening up in the first place. I just need to accept the fact I will not have the type of friends or relationships I need in my life. Also I'll just keep the two people I have in my life close that I know who are there for me and WILL NOT make me feel like my time is being wasted. I just need to drop everyone that I have interest in just to focus on me from bettering my life, raising my son the best way I know how so he will grow up to be the furthest thing from Men who've hurt or lied to me in the past, and find a career that I love.

I know I should not be beating myself up for trying to see the good in people and give them chances after chances to do right. We as people fall short of God's grace all the time this whole situation has me wondering is this how God feels when we do stuff to displease him. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired I know it will be hard for me to ignore and drop people that I'm starting to care about or like talking to when things are going well. But I need to put myself first and see how many people care about me when I do fall back on hitting them up. I know the root of the problem is that I CARE TOO MUCH I just need to close myself down emotionally I know it is not good to do that , but I need to do what I gotta do so I'm not out here looking stupid.

I just wish I could transfer the way people make me feel onto them, so they could see what they are doing is wrong. I'm not even hurt that I have to drop people that don't care about me the way I want them too. I just want them out of my system that way if there name pop up on my phone or in my social media notification feed I won't get happy of feel the need to even give them a response. I know the wise saying 

When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time

All I need is my son, he's always there for me and will never let me down. Especially if I'm putting my best foot forward to make him one phenominal man. I thank god endlessly everyday for him. If it was not for my son I would be dying for attention and love from the wrong person. I just hope I can follow my own advice and stick firm to what I want to do. I just want to move forward in life and still be comfortable in being alone. My feelings are fragile and I cannot get them hurt anymore. No matter how people swear up and down they need someone like me in there life and they won't hurt me.  I'm not rushing anything because no one has more better timig than God #AMEN I thought relaitonships were hard but so is building a long lasting friendship. It's a process.... I'm forsure going to make sure I pass. . . Well I feel a little better I just needed to get this off my chest goodnight & thanks for listening.

xoxo
CHERRY