Up's & Down's

mood:I wish. . . Let's Just Jump into this
song:B SIMONE X SUMMER 16

I can't be replaced. My personality mixed with my ambition+vision is too foreign.-ME

It's been a minute (not a long minute) since I've written something . . . I haven't been inspired to write anything lately . . . but I guess tonight is the night to get it off my chest . . . Thing(s) between Lloyd (from the last blog) has been up and down . . . In my mind I just wish he could stop upsetting me, buy me something, and just show me he's the real deal. I wish to Heaven he would so I could just go away with him and have an epic summer 16 too bad things just don't work that way. . . 

Guys from my past has been hitting me up thinking I'm the type of girl to creep with & I'm far from that. . . I wish I could find someone who's on the same level as me. . . who gets excited by just seeing me happy . . . I know life is not full of fairytales & bubble gum but sometimes I wish because I could use a break from being guarded and untrusting. . . I guess God wants me to just continue to wait it out and maybe one day he'll send me the sign when I find something real . . . 

I know the truth sets your thoughts FREE but sometimes It's hard for me to tell a guy what I want. Because I feel they always won't fit the bill & 9 times out of 10 they don't so I just keep my mouth shut. At times like this I feel like I was like other girls who would be able to settle but I can't I just want a guy to see what I see in myself. . . but then again I'm proud of myself for not settling because I grow more just by waiting for 'THAT GUY' to show up in the meantime I'm working on myself so I can be 'That Girl' not only the one he wants but needs. . . WELL THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY . . . I SHOULD BE GOING APARTMENT HUNTING WENS I PRAY EVERYTHING WORKS IN MY FAVOR BECAUSE WORKING ON MYSELF WILL ALWAYS PAY OFF MORE THAN WAITING ON A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR ! 

How Lucky Are You

song:Friend Lover x Elektrik Red
mood:when u meet a new nigga (victim)and u start plottin on the dick like: 
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BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING SO IMA DO A REAL QUICK UPDATE TBH I DONT REALLY HAVE MY HOPES UP OR ANYTHING BECAUSE THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE BEEN NERVE WRECKING !!!

• I'm not going to Vegas anymore so I'm bummed about that....
• I'm counting the small blessings and I'm not focused on making friends....

Okay, the interesting thing happened to me is : This guy HMU on facebook he's 14years my senior but looks damn good..... ***so you know ya girl started plottin******I found out a few things about the guy :)(:

• He's a single dad 
• Grew up with my mom
• He's laid back....

***We don't have much in common but he's good to look at, he's nice to look at, I heard he's a lethal weapon when it comes to oral sex*** I'm not really looking for a relationship so I'm just gonna role with the fo of things. . . I want to find me a dude who loves me more than I love him or like me more than I like him. 

THIS HIM THOUGH (YA'LL KNOW I'M ALWAYS COMING WITH RECEIPTS LOL)

My mom said he's a good guy and his parents raised him well :) which is a super plus for me. I already know if I had the opportunity to cap (sleep with) that I'ma do my thing. . . . I never been with a black guy so I'm tryna see what the hype is about. . . . This guy seems like my flavor too we stayed on the phone close to 3hrs last night & that's crazy to me because I hate being on the phone. He's different from any guy I've talked too he's a super gentleman that's willing to please a woman it was never a dull moment when we were on the phone. THE WHOLE TIME ON THE PHONE I'M LIKE IS THIS NIGGA THE REAL DEAl?,?.

Not once did he come at me sideways and when I did get mad he was quick to apologize. It's still hard to believe he's the real deal. . . He's an ideal black man even if he don't become my boyfriend whoever gets him will be lucky to have him he seems to be a good father too and has morals. If we stopped talking tomorrow I'm still going to wish him the best. I really would love to see where this is gonna go so I could see if I'm wasting my time or is this dude gonna be my FRIEND/LOVER & THAT'S WHAT I REALLY WANT EVEN IF HE DON'T Know IT. 

 

'I Don't Wanna Talk About What He Did.For Me, He'll Leave His Homies.Come Over And Put It On Me.He's My, Friend Lover. Lover Like No Other Fills Me Up When I'm Running Low On Love'.

to be continued 

! ! !